You’ve cheated, and you’re wrecked with guilt…and trying to salvage the broken pieces of your relationship. This article will help you learn how to build trust after infidelity (yes, it’s possible), so both you and your partner can start getting over an affair and move forward together.

This is advice from a cheater (yes, me). My husband forgave me, and we’ve been happy together ever since.

You didn’t cheat just because you felt like it. Something in the relationship was leaving you unsatisfied. Figuring out what that was will help you make things right again.

Think about the person you cheated with. What drew you to them? Was it the way they looked, or how they acted, or certain things that they said to you? Something about them hit a trigger…a ‘hole’ in your current relationship that you desperately wanted to fill.

You had an affair because you were looking for something that’s missing, either in you or in the relationship, or both.

Restoring trust in relationships means you have to fix the underlying problems. Couples counselling can help in some situations.

But just identifying the problem isn’t enough. You have to take definite actions to fix those problems.

Rebuilding trust means more than talking about the right things. You have to start doing the right things.

Make small promises, and live up to them. Think of little things you can do that will demonstrate trustworthiness. Make sure these are things you’ll actually do…pick up the dry cleaning, or call when you say you’ll call. No grand gestures right now…just small, but important, promises that you keep.

Understand and be patient with your partner’s constant need for reassurance. You will have to apologize more than once, and deal with their anger and hurt. Let them express their feelings and don’t argue about them. Before they can forgive you, they need to get it all out…and you need to be willing to accept all of it, even if it hurts.

At the same time, don’t take abuse. If your partner really won’t let up or is guilt-tripping you, talk to them about it with compassion and without losing your temper. They are fragile and might not be thinking clearly. They need to know that you understand where they’re coming from, so be understanding.

Lastly, you need to find the good in all of this. In my situation, my husband and I both saw that the affair had shone a bright light on issues we both had regarding relationships, and it gave us an opportunity to address them together…and patch them up for good.

Getting over an affair isn’t quick — it takes time. But with the right actions, it can be done…and be easier than you think, And chances are, you’ll be a stronger, happier couple as a result.

For more tips and actions you can take to build trust after infidelity and repair your relationship, visit www.SecondChanceAtLove.info