The Birthday Bash last Tuesday night for Big Kahuna was rather a festivity. Food preparations were scrumptious, superb liquors and drinks were plentiful, and the stories should have been filmed. It all began when I went for a small dinner at my favorite steak house with the old lady. And as it turns out there were only a couple of dozen of friends invited by my stealthy lady to my fifty fifth.

A couple of folks were out cold after the toasts. I can’t remember how many there were, but I think the food started coming just in time or there would have been more casualties.

The room was filled with vociferous laughter, dancing, storytelling, more and more toasts, then the next thing I remember is waking up in my recumbent chair in my office at noon. Makes me want to swear not to go to any party for about five years.

I hit the sauna, took a cold shower, fixed some chow, and I was ready to take a nap. Which I did, and woke up about 3AM feeling pretty good. I fixed myself a sammich, some iced tea, and fell asleep watching the idiot box.

This morning everything is crystal clear, and all the circuits are functioning.

And while I was asleep, mooks around here have been keeping themselves busy vexing other people’s lives. Oh well, that also made the policemen busy chasing them and they even shot a few of these mooks in Maryland, Virginia and Washington. The past week, they have really elevated the stake, and when the police start pulling their artillery, you know it’s not good.

There were several crimes happening around and most of them were car jackings. And they don’t just car jack any cars but high end cars like Mercedes, Lexus, Caddyshack or BMW. If you are driving any of these, there’s a high probability you will be the next target. But if you’ll carry some of the self defense product like some pepper spray, you will surely give Mr. Mook a nice surprise present. You’ll then witness the incredible stunt of Mr. Mook rolling around on the pavement while hiding the pain in his face after you have hit him with your pepper spray. You gave him a present, and you keep your car.

Aside from having saved yourself from a car jacking, you also saved your car from getting shot at since you have already put down the suspect, it won’t be necessary for a cop to pull his gun. You also saved yourself from all sort of clean up problems. Especially considering you took him down before he managed to get inside and leave every stinky bit and piece of himself inside your car.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a nice crate. I have a couple myself, but they come fully loaded, “iffen you know what I’m saying Vern”.

I’ve got plenty of items to take down drunk mooks.

Can you carry too many self defense weapons?

I don’t think so.