I used to be a cheater. My telling you these facts I’ll probably void my “Man’s Club” membership, but I owe it to all the women reading this to tell my story. Every man doesn’t do all of the things that I did and there may be other signs and symptoms, but these are the ploys that I employed.

It always surprised me when women got so shocked that I was a cheater, especially if that’s how I began my relationship with them. I would be with a woman for a while and as the relationship started to fizzle out, I’d simply move on to the next. I did this for many years with many different women, yet they were always surprised when it happened to them.

Change can come but just like quitting any behavior, it takes a desire to quit. This goes for smoking, drug or gambling addiction or cheating. The belief that the cheater isn’t going to cheat comes from a great line that the cheater lays out. Cheaters have considerable experience in laying out good lines to their partners.

One thing that I never did was introduce any of the ladies I was cheating with to any of my friends. When a guy is with his friends, even if he trusts them, it’s too easy for a friend to slip and mention something about the redhead from last week. If you’ve been dating a guy for a while and haven’t met any of their friends or family, you need to be careful. You’re probably one of many in this guy’s life.

You need to wonder about the depth of your relationship too. I always played the sensitive guy who truly understood all of the pain and heartbreak you had. I truly understood you as a person. At least, that’s what I wanted you to think. All that it really did was give the relationship false depth. If your nights of deep talking are followed by sex… or are sex followed by deep talking… you’re probably getting played like a fiddle. The man is just after the sex. If this is not something you are okay with, you need to break up before you get even more hurt.

Dating sites. I have two points to make about these. First, if you are in a relationship and find that your man has browsed these sites he is not looking for a “friend.” These are great ways to meet women outside of your social circle, which limits the chance of getting busted. And secondly, if you meet a man from a date site chances are he isn’t really interested in your political views. There is a reason why your ad gets more hits when you have a picture up, and often a damn good reason he hasn’t posted his.

There were times that I cheated on a woman that I considered “special”. When I was with her, I would provide all of the amenities that I could. Roses, a massage, I’d cook for her. I would do everything I could to show her just how special she was. Of course all of these things weren’t just to make her feel special. I wanted to absolve the guilt of cheating on her.