It can be quite a challenge to salvage a failed relationship. You’re on pins and needles; one wrong move and the guy or gal of your dreams could be out of your life for good.

The steps which may seem and even feel right are in many cases exactly the wrong move. Instead, you should go against your gut instincts here and take a counterintuitive path. Exactly when you feel the most like calling is when you should shut off your phone and keep your cool. Instead of pouring your heart out, keep it under control.

While these methods might seem all wrong, they have been proven to work and have saved many relationships.

Counterintuitive Technique #1

You have to begin by accepting the breakup. It can be tough to acknowledge that you have been dumped and you’ll more than likely have to fight with yourself to come to terms with things.

You need to accept things as they are; this will let you give your ex the space he or she needs to miss you and come to respect you once again. At the time of the breakup, they’re more than likely upset with you and if you pester them about getting back together, this can sink your chances of ever getting them back.

Counterintuitive Technique #2

Next, keep from making any kind of contact with your ex. Wait, just hear me out here. Your ex needs space to clear their head and get a new perspective -and so do you. This can let them start missing you and maybe even trying to contact you!

You both need a little time apart. It will be god for your mental health and will set things up for the third step.

Counterintuitive Technique #3

Next, you have to create an opportunity for the two of you to make a connection again. This is not as simple as it might sound – there are a lot of steps in between, also counterintuitive.