For this story to make sense, you need to know that my employer sells adult diapers. So it’s not surprising that I have a few packs of these in my house. I almost always have a pack or two in my car too, because the company donates supplies to local medical clinics and homeless shelters and it is my job to do the deliveries. Now here’s my story:

This story begins a few months ago when my kid brother left our father’s beloved ‘69 Chevy Camaro convertible in our driveway with the top down. And of course, it poured rain while all of us were on a little Sunday sightseeing drive together. Rain in the southeast can be quite dramatic: you have to experience it to believe it. When we returned from our outing we all gasped in horror at the 4 inches of water that had collected inside Dad’s pristine sports car. Worse, our father was due to arrive at our house in 10 minutes. We had to get this cleaned up fast or my brother might need the witness protection act to escape from his single act of innocent neglect.

My brother started scooping water with one of my daughter’s little beach pails when I realized that I had something better: Adult Diapers! I opened up a pack that I had in the trunk of my car and immersed them one-by-one into the small lake at the bottom of the vehicle. Magic! For those of you who don’t know, disposable adult diapers are filled with a special polymer that can absorb up to thirty times its own weight in water. Seeing it in action is breath-taking. The rate of absorption is absolutely jaw-dropping. Eight adult diapers are all it took to soak up almost all that water. Paper towels took care of the last little bit and three different hair dryers operated by three different people finished it up nicely, just before Dad arrived. Dad is still none the wiser concerning this incident, I think.

If you own a convertible, take a lesson from my family’s experience and keep your top up when traveling in the southern U.S. And if you are the type that likes to plan for contingencies, keep a few adult diapers tucked into a small dry space somewhere in your vehicle. If your woman finds these panties in your glove compartment, she might ask some embarrassing questions, but chances are, she won’t walk away in a huff.