We’ve all been putting toxins into our bodies for years, even if we don’t know it. Just being alive after the Industrial Revolution puts us all at risk for unnecessary toxins, weird chemical by-products, and various and sundry unnatural, ultimately harmful, materials into our bodies. While it’s true that none of these are in theory) at absolutely poisonous levels, it’s still been recommended that adults go through some sort of body detox regimen once per year.

At this point, you might as well give it a try, right? We couldn’t agree more. On the other hand if you’re looking for a definitive guide that tells you what detox to use, where to go to find them, or if you’re looking for tips on how to recognize whether any specific body detoxification program is right for you, this particular article is bound to be a disappointment. I honestly wish I knew more about it, or had taken the time in Health class to figure out a way to concoct a great body detox on my own. I was too busy making pipes out of apples.

Haven’t we learned from the glut of Baby-Boomers clogging up Social Security that the whole “Be fruitful and multiply” thing has gotten way, way out of hand? So you’ve come onto this site, you realize that we’ve got food shortages across the globe, that our credit and financial systems are total wrecks, and you have the sheer audacity to look for ways to live LONGER?

So now that you know that we understand you (or at least we’d like to think we do,) consider this:

So while my children’s generation, through the reflection of our generation’s example, are probably safe, it’s us– those of us who are, now, building our families and starting our lives in earnest, who’ve squeezed out the last few drops of hedonism from this ever-increasingly pure society so that those kids could survive without having to, like us, find body detox mixtures at least once per year.