Your First Date: Key Tips for Men

In: Dating

6 Jun 2009

It is hard to predict a woman, this is why making first date makes so exciting. Your heart runs wild from an agitation, or, perhaps a fear of being unfit, or maybe both things together. How you should make your first date so it will not be the last one? Where is this thin line which separates awkwardness from artistry and lead to attraction and not to repulsion? Here are some tips, which I hope will help you in this special business.

Tip 1: Plan everything ahead. All elements of your date program (yes, program), must be well thought. Moreover, it is better to have two options for her choice, just in case if she do not want to go with you to A, offer her to go to B. Rely on what you know about her: if you met her online, then knowing her profile and her own words from your online exchange will guide you. Still, remember that she has never seen you before, so dont try to freak her out: meeting in remote parks, cemeteries (even historical) and abandoned warehouses must be out of question. The meeting place must be nice, cozy and reasonably crowded. Museum (or something similar) would be a good choice, you will be surrounded by beautiful objects and you will have a decent chance to talk. From there you can offer next stop at a restaurant, or wherever you have planned the next stop.

Tip 2: Be there in time. It is scientifically proven fact that the first 15 seconds of meeting form an opinion about a person. If you will not get there in time, you will not get even these 15 seconds! Nobody likes when someone makes them wait, especially women. They usually fill the waiting time with thinking about million of those useful things, which they could do instead of standing here and just waiting. And, it usually does not take them too long to decide that they better do these things, rather than wasting their time on that slipshod fellow who is obviously not in a hurry to meet her. Likely you will not see her again.

Tip 3: Your appearance must be perfect. Perhaps you can figure this out without my tips, but, I hope, you will be OK if I will just confirm it: yes, you should look like you just came from a probe for a front cover of Esquire (if they would ever published a man on their front cover). Well, Entertainment Weekly, or whatever, you have got the point. Rest assured that before the meeting with you she spent several hours before the mirror as if she was preparing for such probe, so you better be a good match to her. She will be expecting this from you and this is what will take some fraction of those 15 seconds, which I have mentioned earlier. So you better be perfect in your flawless clothes and shiny shoes, these simple (almost silly) things will help you to win those 15 seconds.

Tip 4: Flowers! Have you ever met women who did not like to get a gift? I have not. Women love gifts, especially diamonds. But the good news is: you do not have to bring diamonds on your first date (just save this thought in the back of your head for the future). Give her one red rose and you will give her a reason to feel that she just met a tasty and thoughtful man.

Tip 5: Be gentleman. Just keep it old-fashioned way: open doors before her, let her first to the table, pool out a chair for her, etc. If you will have a chance helping her to take off (or put on) her coat: do not miss it, this is a chance to give her a hug, a small step in the right direction. So, the bottom line: be a gentleman, do not fear to be perceived as one: even a diehard feminist will appreciate your efforts.

Tip 6. Be generous with compliments. This is what every woman would love and will expect from you. Your first words (after the formal intro) should be in any way saying how great, gorgeous, fantastic she looks. In a sense this is one of the tasks which you have to perform over all meeting: finding right moments and giving right compliments any time you have a chance. Your effort will be always appreciated.

Tip 7: Speak less, listen more. Women usually want to know about you, but even more they would like to tell about themselves. Give her this opportunity: ask questions and listen attentively everything she says. Of course, you have to listen actively, support her with short phrases, like “Is that right?!”, “Yeah, I see”, “Interesting” and keep nodding. If there will come your turn to talk, it is a bad idea to talk about your past wives and lovers, about issues with your health, about problems at work or on any religious subjects. Your task is to find a topic of mutual interest (while she is talking) and develop it. Look into her eyes, smile, show her a good sense of humor, and definitely do not try to tell her everything about yourself, leave it to your second, third, n-th date with her, which will surely happen if you will follow these simple rules.

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